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On Life and Love After 50: Married 40 Years, a Latest Widow Sees No Probability of Courting Once more

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Tom Blake

By Tom Blake

Earlier this month, I obtained an electronic mail from a current widow. She gave me permission to share its contents on this column. I’ll name her Maggie Mae (not her precise identify).

Maggie Mae wrote, “I comply with your articles within the San Clemente Instances. I get pleasure from listening to the male perspective on courting. I have not seen ladies writing to you saying one thing like this, so I’ll say it: ‘I’m 60, not too long ago widowed after 40 years of marriage (COVID-19 took my faculty sweetheart) and wanting so far.’

“I attempted the courting apps and failed. I’m not keen to pay $5,000 for an expert matchmaker. I contacted a matchmaker; she was very good initially. Then she came upon my husband and I had reverse non secular faiths, which was by no means a problem for us in 40 years. We celebrated each religions. She turned chilly. It was stunning.

“Additionally, family and friends do not know anybody for me so far.

“I’m bodily energetic. I volunteer and play sports activities, however I simply do not see an opportunity of courting once more. The place do I begin? Are you positive you are not a matchmaker?”

Tom’s response to Maggie Mae: “Thanks for mustering the braveness to contact me. By writing, you will have already began to enter the senior courting area. Extra importantly, please do not surrender on the possibility of courting once more. You’re younger, and simply starting your quest.

“You did not fail with on-line courting; it simply did not work out for you. Whereas on-line courting has been profitable for some seniors, many really feel as you’re feeling; It is not their cup of tea.

“And, no, I am not a matchmaker, however these days, a couple of south Orange County single guys round your age have contacted me. Maybe you’ll be able to trade emails with them.

“You mentioned family and friends do not enable you to. However contemplate this: maybe a neighbor down the road or throughout city appeals to you, however he is not out there. Nonetheless, life can change right away. That man may grow to be single in a single day. He might really feel such as you, asking himself, ‘The place do I begin?’ Hold reminding your family and friends that you just’d like to satisfy a pleasant man. Do not surrender asking them. It solely takes one.

“One other indication that you’ve already began is by your volunteering and enjoying sports activities, locations the place you meet new folks. The essential factor: proceed to get off the sofa and out of the home and pursue actions you get pleasure from. Perhaps even add a couple of extra actions.

“Discovering a brand new relationship would not simply occur. Nonetheless, you’ll be able to assist make it occur by interacting socially with folks.

“In case you see a person who appeals to you, and, who seems to be out there (no marriage ceremony ring or possibly he winks at you), strike up a dialog or ask him a query, whether or not within the produce or wine part of a retailer , at church, or wherever you go if you end up out and about. Be assertive, however not aggressive, and at all times be pleasant and smile. Exude constructive vitality.

I like to recommend you join my free weekly e-newsletter. Merely electronic mail me, and I will add you, or you’ll be able to enroll on the homepage of my web site listed under. I try to reply all emails in a well timed method.

“Having misplaced Greta, my associate of 25 years, final month, I perceive your loneliness and ache. Maybe, by way of my column on this newspaper, I will help you meet some new single males. However, bear in mind, I am not a matchmaker!”

Tom Blake is a retired Dana Level enterprise proprietor and resident who has authored books on middle-aged courting. See his web site from him at To remark:

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